A Liverpool student is a “completely different person” after “swimming in the dark” for years.
Taman Burns, from Litherland, wasn’t always the confident and outgoing person her friends know her as today. The 21-year-old spent many of her teenage years struggling with who she was as a person – both on the inside and outside. As the London-based student’s mental health declined, she “disappeared” for some time.
The music production student told the ECHO: “I couldn’t even look in the mirror at one stage. I disappeared from family photos for three years and there’s a gap in my life where there isn’t one single photo of me. It would be hard to prove that I existed for those years.”
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While dealing with gender dysphoria and depression, Taman was able to find solace in music, so much so it “saved” her.
The radio show studio assistant and part-time bartender said: “There was no representation of transgender people for me. I didn’t know what trans was until I was 11 and I didn’t meet another transgender woman until I was 17. Trying to navigate it myself was awful. It was like swimming in the dark and not knowing where you were going.
“I didn’t know anything about myself until I had to find it myself and the answers weren’t easily accessible or just there ready for me to use. Even in school, I wasn’t taught a single thing about the transgender community unless it was to deal with bullying.
“Music saved me while I was transitioning and the likes of Lady Gaga and Charli XCX made me feel at my most confident. I remember at one point the only reason I would get out of bed was to go outside, get on my trampoline and listen to the Born This Way album on repeat.”
With music meaning so much to her, it made sense for the now DJ to move to London to study music production. Having lived in the UK’s capital for nearly three years, Taman said it has helped her grow in confidence.
She added: “Comparing who I was, with who I am now, it’s like black and white – completely two different people. I’m in a different mindset now and have so much more drive. In London, there’s such an exposure that others have to deal with it. There’s so much diversity that you can’t live here without seeing the trans community so people just mind their own business."
Wanting to give back to the Liverpool trans community and replicate a similar exposure, Taman alongside two others, Charlie Major and Reese O’Neill is hosting a night for queer people by queer people. Diva Dungeon prides itself on being a space where the community can party not only together but safely.
Taman said: “I didn’t have much reference for me to find myself, despite the rich queer heritage of the city. All the events specifically in the electronic music scene were primarily led, created and attended by cishet people (those who are heterosexual and cis-gendered).
“Exploring and finding queer music since moving to London has made me so eager to put on an event back home for my LGBT+ family. I imagine myself early in my transition, what it would mean to have a space to explore and how that would have impacted me at that time.
The 21-year-old added: “I want to share the gay music my queer ancestors created at the dawn of disco, house, ballroom and the future of gay club sounds, my queer siblings are pioneering at the moment and make it accessible to audiences that aren’t as exposed in big cities.
“In our day-to-day life as queer people and myself as a trans woman we face so many obstacles from healthcare to employment, and having a place so celebratory and there for us is beyond important. Our event is there to make everyone feel like a superstar.”
Tickets for the event, happening on Friday, February 2, in Heebie Jeebies' basement on Seel Street, can be bought through Skiddle and Fatsoma.
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