For Tim Edwards, gut wrenching CCTV footage of the moment his young daughter was killed is seared into his mind.
New Brighton beautician and dental nurse Elle Edwards was a young, innocent woman enjoying a Christmas drink in a popular pub when she was shot in the head as part of a gangland dispute that had absolutely nothing to do with her.
Ahead of the first anniversary of Elle's death, the memory of that terrible day is both raw and hazy for Tim. In an interview with the ECHO, he recalled how he was awoken from a deep sleep in the early hours of Christmas morning.
He said: "There was a bang on my door in the early hours. When I got up it was Connor, my son. He told me we need to go the hospital; something happened to Elle. I knew straight away it was bad, I could tell by his face.
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"We were greeted by surgeons who told us Elle was dead. I just felt anger, rageful. I just wanted to destroy everything around me. It's like it's not real. You can't process that, you're in a deep sleep and an hour later a surgeon tells you your daughter has passed away.
"I don't remember much after that. Me and her mum are not together but I went back to her mum's and slept in Elle's bed that night. The hardest battle has been getting through the year, getting through the investigation to find that piece of s*** that pulled the trigger, getting to the trial. Six or seven months passed quite quick from when it happened to then.
"There was always something going on."
Her killer, 23-year-old Woodchurch estate drug-dealer Connor Chapman, had no quarrel with Elle but did not care in the least who was caught in the cross-fire when he sprayed the Lighthouse Pub, in Wallasey Village, with 12 bullets from a Skorpion sub-machine gun.
Chapman had been attempting to kill two men from a rival gang – Kieran Salkeld and Jake Duffy – who were outside the pub's front entrance, smoking and chatting in a group which included 26-year-old Elle shortly before midnight on Christmas Eve 2022.
She had been sitting on a raised flower bed with her back to the masked gunman when he stepped out from along the side of pub building and opened fire. She stood no chance as two 9mm rounds struck her in the back of her head.
Salkeld and Duffy, who the day before had dished out a savage beating to one of Chapman's criminal associates – a petty crook named Sam Searson – were seriously wounded but survived. Three other innocent bystanders also suffered relatively minor bullet wounds.
Chapman denied any involvement, despite an avalanche of evidence including DNA on a bullet casing and CCTV tracking his journey from his home on Houghton Road, Woodchurch, to the murder scene. During his trial at Liverpool Crown Court in July, Tim and his family sat in the public gallery, sometimes in tears, sometimes in stony silence, as the crystal clear CCTV footage of the moment Elle was hit was played again and again.
Chapman was eventually convicted of murder and jailed for life with a minimum term of 48 years before he becomes eligible to apply for Parole.
Tim told the ECHO he faces a daily battle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but is also keeping busy to try and establish the charitable foundation he has set up in Elle's name.
He said: "To be honest I have not stopped, it has been none stop trying to set up getting going with the foundation properly and get all that in place. I put a bit of pressure on myself trying to get it all up and running before Christmas, there's so much red tape. But it will take its own course.
"I have got PTSD, that's a daily battle and everything else that comes with that. Just stress all the time."
Tim says the family had been anxiously awaiting the approach of the anniversary of Elle's death, and the added tragedy of it falling on Christmas Eve. He said: "It's one of those, you wait for that date if you like to come and to go. You can't prepare for it; you don't know what's going to happen.
"It's like the build up to the trial. It's the same sort of feeling because it's a significant date. Every day is a significant date. It's a case all the family are going for a meal, we will all eat together on Christmas Day. But once Christmas Day is gone it's going to be difficult.
"I have got a grandson, he's four. He's not got a clue what has happened whatsoever. We have to make Christmas magical for him, I have still got to give the kid that."
Tim's voice hardens as he refers to the man who took his daughter's life. He says: "I don't see why that piece of s***, he ruined our lives, he has done that, but why should we let him ruin that, why let him think he's won because he hasn't."
For Tim, there are days when things are bearable. But the trauma of that terrible day still manifests itself in very visceral ways. He said: "I can be fine for days and then I physically start, I can tell a couple of days before when something is going to happen because I physically get tired and forgetful, and disappear into myself a bit. Withdraw into myself.
"When it comes it's awful, when it comes I tend to have panic attacks. In my head the images of the CCTV that was played in the trial, that's a constant. I will melt down, it lasts a couple of hours."
Tim said he is doing his best to deal with the symptoms of PTSD. But rather than anything any doctor could prescribe, it has been his burgeoning friendship with actor and comedian John May that has seen him through dark times, particularly the long charity walks the pair have completed together. Tim says: "Chances are that if I had not had that I wouldn't be here."
But Tim also knows he and his two other children, Connor and Lucy, are deeply invested in keeping each other afloat. He said: "They're strong. They're watching their father. They have got friends around. They've got youth on their side, they have got that, they will get through it, they will be ok."
Tim says he misses the laughs he had with Elle, and "normal family life" which he describes as "gone forever". But with the Elle Edwards Foundation, he aims to make a positive change directing young people away from the lures of gang crime.
It is still early days, and Tim says other successful charity organisations such as Weapons Down Gloves Up and No More Knives are well established in using sport as a diversion, so Tim says he hopes to use a different tack and look at what other avenues can be used to provide opportunities.
One thing Tim also wants to provide is support to victims of crime, including people caught up in the traumatic aftermath. He said: "It's a ripple effect isn't it. So many people. People that were there on the day that was trying to save Elle, the lads who got hit, and there's nothing really there for them."
Next year, Tim hopes to raise further funding for the charity by embarking on the gruelling 250km Marathon des Sables in the Sahara Desert in Morocco.
But first things first, he must endure the next few days, which may prove to be a far bigger challenge.
Anyone wishing to donate to the Elle Edwards Foundation can do so here.
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